Heartbroken for Haiti

My heart hurts for the people of Haiti.

I have been wanting to write this post for over a week. But every time I tried, the words just didn't come. It was too overwhelming to think through and type out. I want this blog to be a happy place but life I can't leave out the reality of life. And if we were all silent when something hurt, healing might never come.

I'm sure by now, you've all read countless articles, seen dozens of pictures, cried tears and whispered desperate prayers. The news of devastation coming from Haiti continues after the strongest earthquake in more than 200 years. The quake measured 7.4 on the Richter scale, and was centered 10 miles from Port-Au-Prince, the nation’s largest city. In the days following even the aftershocks were large enough to cause significant damage and terrify the people trying to find their loved ones. A country that was already struggling, is in absolute chaos.

This is personal to me. My heart became attached to Haiti several years ago. When I decided to sponsor my beautiful Idson Etienne through Compassion International. I'm still not sure if he and his family are okay. Pictured below are the Compassion centers in the vicinity of the earthquakes, Idson is in center HA254 which I highlighted with the white circle and arrow. The dot with the red triangle is the center of the first quake.

While I pray and worry and wonder, I so easily feel completely depressed and despairing of the situation. The grief and pain for the people of Haiti is overwhelming. But as we know, great trials and suffering brings out the true character of human beings. People from many different countries are donating supplies, money, services and their very selves to helping the people of Haiti at this time. Bloggers are blogging, believers are praying, artists are using their talents and governments are acting on the behalf of those who cannot help themselves. Although my heart is broken for my little Idson's country, for his people, and how much they have suffered. I see a glimmer of hope. I have hope that those who have been tirelessly working for the orphaned and the impoverished before the earthquake might now be in the spotlight, making our world aware. I have hope that people who have never been interested in adoption, yet see the devastation of children who have fallen victim to circumstances might follow their heart and open their home. I have hope that while the Haitian people and all of the workers poring into their country work together, the unity of the human spirit will forge friendships and bonds that will last a lifetime... and change the world. I have hope that God can make beauty from ashes. I don't know how.... but I have hope.

Keep hoping and keep praying for miracles. Idson and his family and thousands of others need them.

For information on how to help, visit these organizations' websites:

American Red Cross
Food for the Hungry
Samaritan's Purse
Hands & Feet Project
World Vision
World Concern
Compassion International
YELE (send money with a simple text, set up by Haitian singer Wyclef Jean)

And for a really comprehensive list check out this article.

June 5th

I struggle a little with how personal to get on this blog. It's supposed to be a happy little place where I can connect with you, show you my artwork and give you a peek into my life. But the longer I blog the harder it is not to share the sides of me that are not all light and happy and cheerful. This time I think it's worth sharing.

It's June 5th today. That probably doesn't mean much to you but it's a day that I've looked forward to with anticipation and sadness. Today was the expected due date of our first baby. There's a lot I could tell you about the experience of losing a child. Some people start up whole blogs about it just to get their feelings out and connect with others who have gone through similar pain. But that's not what my purpose is in posting today.

Instead I want to share with you what we've done and what God has done to turn our mourning into gladness. I've noticed that the old saying "when God shuts a door he opens a window" certainly seems true in my life. I do not believe that God inflicts suffering or tragedy on us. Nevertheless, in this life, we will have trouble. And pain. And heartache. And disappointment. But it seems that every time a dream is dashed and I'm mourning the loss, God drops in my lap, another opportunity, conversation or encouragement that I didn't realize I desperately needed.

The week that I miscarried the baby was also the week that I had the privilege of going to my first craft show....and it was a big one! I was working hard for months to get my turtle collection ready. It was such a great, silent desire in my heart to prove to myself that I could do this. The craft fair turned out to be a wonderful experience that gave me hope that my dream of being an artist and illustrator just might come true. You could say that while one dream was dying, another dream was just starting to grow.

There are many more instances like that. I really want something. It doesn't happen. God surprises me with joy in another way. I've decided we need to partner with God (as opposed to avoid and mistrust Him) when bad things happen and see how these hurtful, painful things will be redeemed.

As we've been going through the process of grieving and letting go these past several months I've started looking ahead to June 5th and wondering what I could do to say goodbye at last. My mind turned to how blessed we are right now. How much we have compared to the rest of the world who is hungry, jobless, homeless and hopeless. Joel and I prayerfully and financially support several organizations that work tirelessly to help those who can't help themselves. We decided to turn our loss into joy and after a little research....we found beautiful Bajantri Vimala from India. A little girl available for sponsorship from Gospel for Asia. Birthdate.... June 5.

It gives us such a thrill to honor our baby in this way. She is safe in heaven, but Bajantri needs help here on earth. We're so excited to be involved in and make a difference in Bajantri's life. In what God is doing in India. He's clothed us with joy again.

If you want to know more about child sponsorship or any of the organizations we support, please contact me!