I'm not exactly sure why but I think it's because I try too hard. I am a planner, a goal setter, a person who likes to get the job done. All those things are good, but when your plan doesn't work out and your goal isn't achieved you start to feel disappointed and negative.
I didn't make it for the Illustration Friday submissions this week or last. Instead I concentrated on redrawing the Jungle Babies artwork I wanted to put up on Etsy today. But I just couldn't get them done.
I had my trusty Prismacolors, my desk all set up, my sketches, even Kiki the hula-dancing monkey to help me out....but it just didn't happen. Then in my Eeyore-ish state I started to think of all the other things that just aren't happening either. Cleaning the bathroom, for instance, doing our taxes, getting my fur babies their shots, getting more exercise, reading my Bible and spending time with God....ending world hunger, bringing peace to the Middle East, paying off my parent's mortgage, finding a cure for cancer, securing a loving family for every orphan.... you see where this dramatic pity party is going don't you.So I'm gonna have to knock that off. Obviously my attitude and my priorities need to be shifted.
It's really not about what I can do anway. It's about who I am and who God wants me to be. The refining process not the achievement of my own goals.
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded, YOU NEED TO PERSEVERE so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36
Sending you hugs through cyberspace. Feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteGaby
I feel like I could have written most of this post (except for the beautiful illustrations part). There are so many things that I just don't do, that I've starting labeling myself because of them. And isn't this supposed to be the easiest time of life - already married, careers, no children without tails, and youthful? Then why is it so hard?
ReplyDeleteI look at my calendar, to do lists, and deadlines and wonder how I will manage it all. Add to that dreams, hopes, and callings and it becomes one giant mess.
How can I go to Brazil and serve these kids if I can't even stay on top of laundry? My lesson plans are not as interesting as other leader's, should I be doing this? Am I really the one to talk to high school girls about body image when I feel so insecure? Who is going to put all my laundry away?
When I sit back and look at all this, I realize how much "I" is in there. And how much "Him" is missing.
When did life get so complicated? And will it always be this hard?
Unfortunately, I think the answer is yes. And it gets worse - children, illness, aging...
Thank goodness we have a big God!
Hi Elena,
ReplyDeleteI just blogged a grumpy day post yesterday....There must be something in the air. LOL
It is important to remember that a person can have a bad day and move on from it. I am just a lowly person and sometimes my energy just doesn't jive with the universe. LOL
I also try to remember that today really is a gift and tomorrow has some many hiden potentials that there is cause to be joyful. :) So many blessings to you today and tomorrow.
Christy
Ahh sweet Elena, your heart is still so filled with Gods love. I remember your heart being so tender toward anyone who was hurting or had a need. And that is awesome, that is the Spirit of God at work in you. Allowing Him to break your heart with those things/people who break His great heart. No you may not end world hunger or bring about world peace. But if we are doing our bit, in our corner of the world than you can be sure God is making it all come together, as only He can.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time, and your right:
Don't grow weary in doing well for in due season we will reap a harvest if we faint not! Gal 6:9
Love you!